October 29, 2008 8 Comments
Science is nothing more than organized common sense. Kenneth R. Miller
So God is just having a normal day telling all the Angels and Satan and Archangels, Michael and Gabriel what to do, and suddenly thinks, “I’m going to make a Universe and some planets and maybe some live things to play around with.”
So he gets in his creation mode and conjures up (Ex-Nihilo) gasses, rocks, metals, water, fire, space, time, and any other thing that goes into making up this Universe we happen to live in. He probably lets it cook for a few billion years and things start to happen as the Universe makes stars and planets and blows up and re-condenses and expands and contracts and generally does it thing, as it has for over 14 billion years now.
Now God apparently decides to make our world personally and he makes the firmament about 4.5 billion years ago, and he hovers to and fro over the waters and divides the land from the water and makes light and then the sun and moon and stars in the sky and animals and grasses and finally after about 4.499999 billion years or so he makes poor ol’ Adam, then pulls a rib from him to make Eve. Now all the while he is doing this creating and starting things in motion, he’s thinking to himself. “How can I make this creating stuff more interesting?”
After thinking for awhile he calls Satan and Michael over and whispers into their ears for about an hour. Every now and then either Satan or Michael pull back and look at God like he’s crazy, but they go back to the huddle and whisper some more. The other Angels just stand around wondering what’s up with the bosses and why they’re whispering back and forth.
Now we cut to earth, and Adam and Eve, in this perfect garden that God has set up for them. They’re running around naked and all, pruning and watering the garden for a few (8?) years. Then out of nowhere comes Satan and does the apple/fruit of some kind…thing with eve, and then slithers out of sight before God comes.
We all know what happens next…God kicks them out of the garden, gives them pain, etc., etc. Just remember that it wasn’t till a few (4 or so) thousand years later that Paul decided they were part of his theology.
Now they are kicked out of their home with nothing but the God provided skins of some animals on their backs. They have nothing…they finally find a cave to live in and after some further wrangling with God and the Devil they start their family. The family thing didn’t turn out so well…they birthed and raised the first killer and they were left alone, until at the age of 130, they had another son, and then more sons and daughters. Some say as many as 35 or more children…I really feel sympathy for Eve on this.
Now all this was supposed to have happened 6000 years ago. God makes these hapless souls and promptly kicks them out of safety and into a world where they were clueless. The world was teeming with deadly diseases, poisonous plants, and killer animals. They didn’t know a thing about making shelters, finding safe water, finding or making food, when to plant, what to plant, how to plant, how to kill and skin animals for clothing and shelter, how to make the necessary tools an ancient human would need for survival.
They had nothing in the way of knowledge about the ways of natures, how to make things they needed to raise up from the level of animals, how to live safely and comfortably and plan for a future they could not comprehend. They had no medicines, no knowledge of the possibility of medicine and how to treat any of the human ailments that we are all prone to. All they knew was the ‘Garden’ and the care of God.
Somehow they managed to survive and give birth to a race of people that numbered in the 10’s of millions about 1500 to 1600 years later ???
Then the Bible says that God gets really mad at these humans he had created, so he decides to kill them all…well, except for Noah and his family. God reasons that this will rid the world forever of all these people that dis-respect Him. So somewhere around 2300 or 2400 BCE he floods the world and kills millions and millions of people, but He saves Noah and his sons and all the wives, and then he remakes the whole world to make it look like there was never a flood…just to confuse us later.
A couple hundred years after the flood was over the world was once again covered with humanity…millions and millions of people were spread everywhere on the face of the earth. God looks down at Babylon and sees the people are now building a city and making really really tall buildings. For some reason this kinda’ pisses God off, so he lowers himself from the sky, and with magic, he makes them stop speaking Akkadian and start speaking Hebrew, German, Chinese, Ojibwa, Spanish, English, French, Japanese, Korean, Canadian, Egyptian, and Esperanto.
This is when He really starts to mess with modern people’s minds…you see Babylon had already been built, and the towers were there, before He caused the ‘Flood.’ And of course the people then living in those faraway places (Spain, China, Japan, Canada, America, etc., etc.) were speaking their own early versions of their countries language…before the ‘Flood’ even.
So somewhere God kind of messed up when He plotted, and passed on to Moses, this great adventure us humans are part of…He hasn’t keep the lines of evidence in proper order, but possibly this is part of the plot…keep us on our toes, so to speak.
I can’t seem to get out of Genesis. There are just so many things wrong with that story